The Fundamental Drive: Striving for Significance and Self-Worth
At the core of human motivation is the desire for significance and a sense of self-worth. Every individual, from a young age, develops a unique way of navigating the world – their “approach to life” – as they aim to achieve a sense of competence, mastery, and belonging. This fundamental human drive is powerful, but its expression can take two very different paths:
External Validation: Adler believed this occurs when the drive for significance is focused solely on oneself, often by attempting to gain approval, seek excessive attention, or accumulate external symbols of status – to prove one’s worth.
Internal Fulfillment: This is expressed through genuine contributions to others and the community, or by pursuing deeply meaningful personal goals. Here, significance is found in purpose, cooperation, and contributing to the common good. This striving fosters a deep sense of belonging and self-worth that comes from within.
As a holistic adviser, I see these paths (and various combinations of them) each and every day. Whatever our views, we all sit somewhere on the spectrum from “money for money’s sake” on one end, to purpose on the other. Understanding this distinction, and where you sit on the spectrum is critical to understanding your financial behaviours.
The “Why”: Understanding Our Own Motivations
When we observe a sustained pursuit of external validation, it’s easy to make assumptions about others. However, turning that lens inward allows for powerful self-reflection. This isn’t about judging anyone else’s choices; it’s an invitation to explore our own underlying drivers.
What truly propels your financial decisions? How do you think about money—as a tool for freedom, a scorekeeping card, a shield against fear, or something else entirely?
Most importantly, I want everyone to ask themselves the fundamental “why.”
Why do you desire that specific financial goal? Why do you envision a certain kind of life that money might enable? What about that imagined life genuinely fulfills you?
The answers are not always easy apparent. It is unconscious for some, perhaps even generationally engrained. Many of our behaviours and attitudes to money are inherited, and then ‘ground in’ at a young age. Anecdotally, I find the ‘why’ for many people is because they believe that they will be ‘important’ when they can display material success to others. It’s the society we live in. But for others (and these are definitely fewer) – it might be about providing security, pursuing passions, or leaving a legacy.
Our fundamental strive for significance underlies our financial and life decisions every single day. We all carry this deep-seated need for validation or purpose. Personally, it has taken me some time to understand my drivers, and what brings me my happiness. Understanding this need came from my own deep reflections, and conversations with those in my inner circle. I needed to align with my internal values, whilst doing my best to keep the external pressures at bay.
What Purpose Will Your Wealth Serve?
In a world that often measures success externally, I invite you to consider a deeper, more fulfilling definition of wealth. Find a quiet moment in your day and ask yourself – Where do I believe I sit on the money spectrum? What are my wealth motivations? and, Which path are my current financial actions aligned to?
The link to The Courage to be disliked can be found below – it’s worth a listen.